The first two words of the Ten Commandments are, “I am”. More follows and how interesting it is that the beginning of this set of biblical principles starts the importance of validating each of our own existence.
We each want acceptance, recognition and to be understood.
February is a month we traditionally associate with love, especially on Valentine’s.
However, this year, that particular day will represent in our community many other emotions, including grief, fear, and sadness.
Healing our world through love, kindness and acceptance, especially for those who need it the most, is so difficult at times. Edith Wharton once commented that there are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Which will you be?
When we reflect and remember the year that has passed since that horrific time in Parkland, many people may not view love as having anything to do with the events that happened.
However, the shock we faced as a community definitely rose from the love we hold for our children. The young man who woke up that day and changed so many lives, including his own, clearly did not feel cherished or respected in any possible way.
Aside from just the logistics of how he did what he did, that young man failed having any resources within himself to guide him away from such a destructive path.
I have two sons, the same ages as those impacted on February 14th, 2018. Yet, I cannot fathom the absolute terror that families of the murdered children must continue to face each day, nor of all of those who were there to witness such bloodshed, as well as everyone in our nation who mourned alongside them. However, I know that cursing the darkness does not help create the light we need to see ourselves through this tragic tunnel.
Recently, the Faulk Center for Counseling, presented me their “Caring Heart” award and I was deeply honored by it. The Faulk provides a welcoming, confidential environment, which helps people of all ages deal with life’s challenges. Their mission is to promote emotional well-being though a variety of free and low-cost programs, such as psychological and mental health consultation, therapy, and support.
As I accepted the award, I spoke about the effect we all have on one another, and how we get to choose whether the message we carry will be of despair or of hope. As we grieve, we must also find a way to take strength from our achievements and always cherish moments of joy.
Your advocacy, your hug, your encouragement and your love that you share with others today, may just help create a world where people do not feel isolated or rejected, driven to such extreme measures.
As Amit Ray wrote, “Our wings are small but the ripples of the heart are infinite”.
Okay, I admit it. I have difficulty with the Letter, “E”.
This seemingly innocuous vowel begins a lot of words that cause issues.
Words like “excitement”, “endeavor” and “embarrassed”, all lead to other
multisyllabic bigger problems, known as “Entitlement”, “Expectations”,
“Emotional” and “Exhausting”! These are definitely seasonal adjectives, revealing
themselves more than “Uncle Bob” after he drank too many!
We often put so much pressure on ourselves and others during this time, that
by January even the most Effervescent and Eager amongst us find ourselves
crying and muttering in a dark corner.
Was kicking the cane out from an older person walking into a restaurant at the
same time as you really necessary just to get the last available table for your
family visiting from out of town?
Did you really need to take the only “Sweet Sally” doll on the shelf left for your
granddaughter, even though an underprivileged 6-year-old looked at it with
longing in her eyes?
How did screaming at your over-worked hairdresser, who has 2 other jobs just
to make ends meet, really make you feel just because he was unable to cut your
hair, even though you did not have an appointment set for the day before the
holiday started?
Why are you so worried about what your parents think about your home that
was decorated with love? These people changed your diapers and, let’s face it,
that is hard to recover from no matter what.
Most people create resolutions in January, often focusing on how to better
themselves, including lose weight, work more effectively, and meet new people.
I propose we disregard that method of self-improvement and instead create
new goals for ourselves, including graciousness, generosity and gratitude.
For instance, instead of talking to everyone you meet about the 30 people you
are hosting for the holiday meal, find an extra seat at your table to include at
least one more person, to enjoy the festivities with you. Many people are too shy
to admit they have no one with whom they can celebrate. Likewise, if you are
asked and have nowhere else to go, accept and feel blessed by the invitation!
Small steps to make each of us feel valued and cherished, rather than depleted
and depressed!
Next month, I will discuss consonants that bother me. However, for today,
let’s just replace “I with “You” and see how that goes…
You probably did not consider yourself as a full-time resident of Florida
until you began attending at least one funeral (or Shiva) a month. If you also get
annoyed at double-parking, no restaurant tables available during “Season” and
the constant interruption of cable television or internet every time a tropical storm
blows through, then you are most likely a veritable resident of our State.
There are lots of great reasons to be declared a resident of Florida,
including the absence of both State Income Tax and Death Tax, along with
Homestead-protected property. All this, plus our booming tourism and tech
industries, combined with mild “winter” weather, seems to make everyone want
to move to Florida.
We are now the 2nd most populated State in America, with nearly 900
people per day becoming residents of the Sunshine State!
For some States, like Pennsylvania, you need to live there for at least one
year and others, like South Carolina, three years before achieving full-time
status. However, Florida’s legal standard of residency only requires you to be
domiciled here for at least 6 months, plus one day more than anywhere else.
To also ensure Florida residency status, you may want to:
1. File a declaration of Florida domicile and notify your old state of the move.
2. Make sure all of your investment account statements, driver’s licenses and
other legal documentation are moved to your Florida address.
3. Keep your important banking and investment relationships in Florida.
4. Establish your principal residence and voter’s registration in Florida.
5. Keep a travel log documenting your trips back and forth, so you can
demonstrate later you were indeed in Florida for more than six months and one
day.
However, as a native-born Floridian (yes, we do exist), I advocate that
certain incentives should also be created for those of us who still remember
when the Sawgrass Expressway had no lanes painted on it or why Palmetto
Bugs are called such. If you still remember Burdines or the cautionary poem
taught to school-age children in Florida about which snake is “safe for Jack”, then
you qualify.
For instance, restaurants should start providing “punch-cards” to those of
us who appreciate Florida all year long. For instance, if you frequent that locale
at least 5 times between May and September, then come October you get to be
seated without a wait!!! Another suggestion is that restaurants begin designating
a few tables reserved strictly for full-time residents of Florida.
I really am glad so many others share my opinion of our Wonderful State.
It would also be nice to not have to eat at 9 pm or resort to fast food drive through
just to be fed in a timely manner.
Welcome to Paradise!